Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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