be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
