But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
