This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
