hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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