We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
