it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Is it because I queefed?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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