I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
