Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
