No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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