I met the friendliest cop last night
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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