Where did you get a picture of my penis
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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