week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
