i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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