Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
