She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Ladies don't puke and tell
I have already put on my inside pants.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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