I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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