UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
