Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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