god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
