nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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