Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
