Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
