We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
