I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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