Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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