it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
