Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
