why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
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