i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
