Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
