So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
