I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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