She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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