Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
