Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
