hotel room ftw
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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