I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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