Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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