I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
