i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize