No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
