repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
