just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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