There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
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