have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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