If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
