If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
