I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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