no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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