There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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