I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize