his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
