I puked a lego.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
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