Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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