I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize