I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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