I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
