When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
