Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize