shes about as inviting as chlamydia
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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