i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Enjoy the penises
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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