i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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