so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
