vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
